Name the pressure clearly
Private questions, gifts, secrecy, requests to move app, disappearing messages, sexual talk and plans to meet are all reasons to stop and involve a trusted adult.
BASTIONHOST / UNSAFE CONTACT & SECRECY
UNSAFE CONTACT & SECRECY
Treat secrecy as a reason to bring an adult closer.
An unsafe contact may begin with attention, gifts, compliments or a shared interest. If someone asks a child to keep the chat secret, move platform, share personal information or meet, the child needs a simple route to stop and tell.
START HERE
Set the boundary before you test it.
The child may be frightened that they will lose a game, phone or friendship. Say clearly that replying, clicking or keeping the chat for a while does not remove their right to help.
Preserve without forwarding
Keep usernames, links, dates and messages where safe. Do not save, screenshot or forward sexual images of anyone under 18. Use CEOP or police guidance instead.
Match the response to the risk
Use platform block and report for routine unwanted contact. Use CEOP for sexual contact concerns, Childline for child support and 999 if someone is in immediate danger.
PRACTICAL SETUP
Work through the real account and device.
Do not rely on what a parent dashboard appears to show. Apply the control, then check the result while signed in as the child.
Stay calm and thank the child
Ask them to show or describe what happened. Do not message the account pretending to be the child and do not begin by threatening to remove access.
Check for an immediate plan or threat
Ask whether the person knows the child's location, has made a threat, requested sexual content, arranged a meeting or is contacting them through other accounts. Call 999 if there is immediate danger.
Keep account details and messages where safe
Record usernames, profile links, dates and the platforms involved. Avoid deleting the account before a specialist service or police adviser tells you what may be useful.
Do not copy sexual images
If an image may show someone under 18, do not save, forward or ask the child to send it to you. Preserve the account details and go to CEOP, police or Report Remove for advice.
Block and report through each service
Report the behaviour before or after blocking according to the service instructions. Check for duplicate accounts, linked messaging apps and changes to the child's friend list.
Reduce contact routes
Set messages and friend requests to known people, review disappearing messages and remove public details. Change passwords and secure the account if the contact may have access.
Return to the child after the first action
Explain what you have done, what may happen next and who else needs to know. Check how they are coping and keep the device decision separate from their right to support.
TEN-MINUTE TEST
Check what your child actually sees.
- The child knows secrecy is a reason to tell
- Unknown accounts cannot message as freely as before
- You can find block and report on the child's main services
- The child can name two trusted adults
- You know not to copy sexual images of anyone under 18
- You know when to use CEOP, Childline or 999
The family rule
Nobody online gets to ask for secrets from the family. If someone asks for private details, pictures, a different app or a meeting, stop replying and bring the conversation to a trusted grown-up.
What the settings cannot promise
Privacy settings reduce contact but cannot prove identity or stop a person returning through another account. If the contact is sexual, threatening, persistent or connected to a meeting, use specialist help rather than relying only on the platform report.
Current official instructionsCEOP advice on reporting an incident ↗Childline Report Remove ↗
Written by Kevin Turnbull. Last reviewed 21 August 2026. Services, settings and menu names change. Check the current official instructions while applying this guide. This is practical parent-to-parent guidance, not emergency safeguarding advice. Find UK help and reporting services.
PARENT-WRITTEN GUIDANCE
Make help available before it is needed.
Children tell sooner when they know the first response will be calm. Repeat the rule before there is a problem, and keep the specialist help routes easy to find.
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